One of the most insidious, cherished beliefs born in the land of Fairy Dreams is “When you get married you will live happily ever-after.” As a woman, it is easy to buy into this Fairy Dream as our Knight in Shining Armour charms us. Oh! How easy it is to step blindly and blissfully into a marriage that does not work. Oh! How easy it can be to make a few changes and enjoy being a powerful, successful woman in a happy and fulfilling relationship.
What does it mean to become the successful woman you desire? A successful woman is living her purpose. This purpose can be to fulfill a lofty career desire such as being a marketing guru, or being a good mother and wife, or being a good waitress or cook. As a woman, you know you are successful in living your desire when your heart tells you that you are content. You experience a deep sense of peace and accomplishment. Your life and your relationship are happy
Far too many woman that I have known as clients and friends have mistakenly believed that getting married will automatically ensure a happy, fulfilling and possibly romantic life. Once wrapped up in this fairy-tale belief, it is easy to become sucked up into becoming the partner who needs to please in order to maintain her status of Staying in Love and Being in Love. This is False Love because you quickly mask over and forget your own personal success dreams. Instead, you become addicted to pleasing your partner in order to get love. The longer you continue your addiction, the higher the probability that your partner will start treating you like a slave, like an extension of himself who should of course be there merely for his perusal - his pleasure. This dangerous mind trap can be avoided.
Whether you are beginning a relationship, are preparing to get married, or are already married, you can gain by increased awareness and knowledge. You can gain by becoming aware of how a relationship has the potential to suck up your positive energy leaving you depressed, and what you can do to make your dreams of becoming the awesome, powerful woman you deserve to be come true.
With these 4 SEQUENTIAL SECRETS you will create your own Good Luck and Success.
They are sequential because you start with practicing Secret 1 and move through to practicing Secret 4.
SECRET 1: MAKE FIRM CHOICES
When you know what you want and are content the creative juices flow. A woman who is living her passion is Lady Gaga. Her passion shows in her dance, her singing, and her creative and daring adventures. Lady Gaga is a woman from Brooklyn, New York, who made up her mind about what she wanted to become and stuck with it even though she was different than the mainstream. Her determination to be herself has inspired many women including the young classical singer, Jackie Evanco. I am using this example so you can relate to someone who is successful and has demonstrated a firm choice to be her True Authentic Self.
If you do not know who you are and what you want to become, now is the time for self-discovery You can google Meditation and have a choice of many masters who will guide you. When you reach a place that I call a sacred place within the quiet recesses of Your Being, an inner realization of WHO YOU ARE awaits you. This is your Spirit Being and as you listen to it and use it as your daily guide. It will reveal your unique path to happiness including YOUR PURPOSE. The trick in deciding if you have discovered your purpose is to stay tuned into your feelings. Your feelings are your barometer telling you if you are in sync with your True Self and YOUR PURPOSE. As a client named Nancy said, “I know when I am on the right path because my heart softens and feels warmer.”
When you know what you want, your purpose, the path for attainment is clear. Using the Law of Attraction, I imagine there is a Magic Genie who lives in the universe and responds to my wishes.
This is how the Magic Genie works. For example, if you are single and ask for a handsome man who is intelligent and successful, the Magic Genie will deliver this man into your life. Unfortunately, he could be what you asked for and because you were not clear enough on all you wanted, he could also be domineering and treat you like an object, his personal slave. It is why it is important to ask for what you want with clarity and preciseness. Make a firm choice about Who You Are and what you want. Then the Magic Genie will be able to deliver to you a partner who is willing, compassionate and able to help you become the woman you deserve to be.
When you chose what you want, make your choice a firm choice. There will be times when you will be tempted to stray from your choice. It could happen when you are tired, or when your partner is so excited about what he is doing you want to abandon your own projects to help him, or it could happen simply because you are feeling like you need a break. Because of these temptations, I ask that you make your choice so strong and powerful it becomes like the Rock of Gibraltar – unshakable!!!
SECRET 2: BELIEVE AND REPLACE
Believe in what you want. There is no one but you yourself who holds the keys to success. Even if your partner says he believes in you that is not enough. For you to manifest your dreams, you must believe in yourself. The Magic Genie needs to hear that you believe in yourself and find yourself worthy in order for her to set the Law of Attraction into motion.
Because the world is filled with many people who delight in seeing other people fail, you may be targeted by saboteurs determined to chip away at your beliefs. Think of the first woman aviator who flew solo across the Atlantic Ocean, Amelia Earhart. Imagine how determined she was to follow her purpose. How many envious men do you suppose told her the flight was impossible? When anyone tries to chip away at your dream, hold steady and stay in charge. You are in control.
A good strategy for staying the master of your dreams is to constantly replace thoughts that don’t work with thoughts that do work. For example, if you wanted to be a news reporter on TV and were in your twenties, your partner might say, “You are too young. Why don’t you stick to being a news reporter for the local newspaper?” A good reply that would encourage your partner to change his opinion would be, “I am young and with the loving support you continuously give me, I am confident together we can make my dream a reality. You know, Sweetheart, I count on you – you are my personal champion, My Hero.”
SECRET 3: CHANGING YOUR PARTNER
Repeat this saying over and over until it becomes an integral part of you, “The best way to change my partner is to change myself.”
Do you know that when you are in your power, you radiate positive energy? You can use this energy. Here is an example of how. Imagine yourself in a positive flow of energy and your partner says something that disturbs you such as in the news reporter example I described in SECRET 2. Imagine that instead of reacting defensively to your partner’s negative comment, you decide to change your reaction – your thoughts. As you change to positive thoughts and let your partner know he is your hero, you give him a worthwhile reason to change. Without exception when a man knows he is needed and wanted, he will do most anything for you. As Dr. John Gray says, “Men need to be appreciated.” With enough love, barriers are overcome and most anything is possible.
With my own husband, when I feel frustrated or angry I say to myself, “Now is my opportunity to treat my husband as I myself would like to be treated.” These words immediately come to my rescue and I am empowered to bypass my frustration and reach out to my husband. When I change, and in this case when you change, you can give your partner the emotional encouragement he needs to re-think and make changes.
Get what you want desire by becoming what you desire!
Ultimately, a guaranteed way for your partner to make desirable changes is for you to become that which you desire. For example, if you want your partner to acknowledge your good qualities, you become the change you desire. In this example, you will start acknowledging his good qualities. To take another example, if you want your husband to start saving more money, you start saving more money. If you want your partner to tell you that he loves you more often, you let him know that you love him more frequently by communicating what is the equivalent for men. Men know they are loved when you communicate to them that they have done a great job and have pleased you. It is 100% True that becoming what you desire sets the Law of Attraction in motion delivering to you what you desire. Like attracts like!
SECRET 4: ACCEPT AND GROW YOUR SUCCESS
When you acknowledge your success you are giving back to the Divine, the Universe. Giving and receiving is circular. It is like breathing. To stay alive and prosper, you need to breathe in and breathe out. In the invisible world of cause and effect, when you acknowledge and accept your success, you are automatically planting seeds for your future success. Consider them as seeds planted in your garden. The more love and gratitude you bestow upon your precious seeds, the more bountiful your garden will become.
- Love what you have and watch it grow.
- Love is the most powerful force in the universe, and you can use it!
Written by Blenda Pilon, author of Falling in Love and Staying in Love